A Very Corny Adventure
by somefangirl
Summary: Modern AU, oneshot: The Straw Hats have an adventure in a haunted corn maze, and trouble ensues as Sanji and Zoro compete to see who can make it out first. Slight ZoLu, slight SanUso


**So, here's a thing I've been working on for a bit. Just a silly oneshot with slight ZoLu and SanUso.**

**THIS IS FOR MY FRIEND, JO. HER BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP, SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JO! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS FIC!**

**DISCLAIMER: Why do I even need to put these things? I don't own it, obviously.**

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><p>"No, Luffy, you're going the wrong way. It's this way"<p>

"Zoro, _you're_ going the wrong way! The exit is over here!"

"Luffy, that isn't even a path. That's a dead end!"

"Well so is yours! You're lost!"

"I'm _not_ lost! The corn _moves_!"

The two had been going this way for a few minutes. Since October had started and Halloween was coming up, there were of course corn mazes and haunted hay rides springing up in every town. And Grand Line was no exception. That lead the Straw Hats (as the group of friends had been dubbed by the rest of the school, for their "captain" Luffy was always seen wearing one) to go join in the festivities (under Luffy's insistence).

The group had decided to go to the nearest corn maze one Friday evening. It was a "haunted" corn maze, with creppy decor and jump scares galore. There were even people hired to run through the maze and scare people, which their friend Brook had gotten a job doing.

At the entrance of the corn maze, Sanji and Zoro started arguing, as per usual.

"We're taking _the marimo_ into a _corn maze_?! He gets lost walking in a _straight line_! If he goes in there, he'll never come out!" Sanji yelled incredulously.

"Shut up! My sense of direction is not that bad!" Zoro defended. Nami, Usopp, Sanji, and Luffy started laughing.

"A broken compass is better with directions than you! At least it worked once!" Sanji laughed. "Not even the GPS our gracious Nami-swan bought you could show you where to go!"

"That wasn't my fault! The damn thing was broken!"

"Probably because it couldn't believe someone could make so many wrong turns!"

"Well, I bet I can make it out of the maze before you do!" Zoro challanged. This caused insistent laughter from the same four as before.

"You know what, you're on. Twenty bucks says I'll be out before you." Sanji said. The two were about to take off into the maze when Nami stopped them.

"Hold on! If you two are having a competition, you'll need someone to go with you to make sure you don't just break the walls down or something." she said "So grab yourself a partner to make sure you don't just slash or kick your way through the maze."

Sanji immediately got excited. He could bring Nami-san through the maze, and when she got scared, she'd grab onto him. It was a perfect plan, but when he turned to ask her, she was already partnered up with Robin. He turned to see Usopp and Chopper and Luffy and Zoro had partnered up, leaving Franky. Sanji sighed and stood next to him.

"Alright, let's go!" Luffy cheered excitedly, grabbing Zoro's arm and dashing off into the maze.

* * *

><p>"The mechanics on this one are simple, but ingenious!" Franky declared about the third jumpscare they'd passed. At this rate, they'd never get anywhere! And Sanji was pretty sure the people who ran the place wouldn't be happy about Franky taking apart all their decorations. When Franky put the latest one back, Sanji was already quite a ways ahead.<p>

"Hey Sanji-bro! Where're you going?" he said, rushing to catch up. He was about to when a giant spider came out of the wall. It was mechanical, of course, but Sanji was out of there very quickly. And in the dark, Franky realized he wouldn't be able to find his blonde friend if he didn't start looking right then.

"N-n-no need to fear, Chopper. The great Usopp-sama shall protect you!" No matter how many times Usopp said this, he was shaking just as much as (if not more than) Chopper was. And all of his bravery went right out the window when the skeleton popped out of nowhere.

"Oh, hello Us-"

"OH MY GOD ITS A SKELETON!" Chopper and Usopp shrieked in unison at the skeleton that appeared in between them. Both of them turned tail and ran in opposite directions.

"No, wait! It's me!" the skeleton, which was actually Brook, called. Because of his job at the corn maze, he was dressed up like a skeleton to scare visitors. He followed after Chopper, who was hiding the wrong way behind a corner of corn.

"Chopper-san, it's me, Brook" he said. Chopper immediately came out of hiding.

"I lost Usopp, and it's scary here!" he said, holding on to Brook's leg for dear life.

"Why not we go find the way out together, then." Brook suggested. Chopper nodded and held Brook's hand as they began to leave. Though one jumpscare later they were both running for it with all they had.

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><p>Sanji and Usopp had both been running from their respective terrors and not looking where they were going when they slammed right into each other.<p>

"Shit!" Sanji yelled as he fell back, holding the side of his head wear he had collided with Usopp. Usopp was doing the exact same thing, though he hadn't yelled profanities when he fell over.

"Usopp? What're you doing here? Where's Chopper?" Sanji asked.

"We got seperated. Where's Franky?" Usopp responded.

"We also got seperated. Shit, now the marimo is gonna have the lead." Sanji said.

"Unless he's still walking in circles with Luffy at the front of the maze" Usopp said "After all, Luffy's sense of direction isn't much better than Zoro's." Sanji laughed and stood up, holding out his hand to help up Usopp.

"Alright, so we may have both lost our partners, but we still have to be the shitty swordsman out of the maze. Let's go."

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><p>Franky, who had been looking for Sanji, was surprised to find Chopper and Brook, hands on their knees and out of breath.<p>

"Yo! What're you guys doing?" Franky asked.

"So... many... jumpscares..." Brook panted, out of breath.

"Franky!" Chopper yelled, latching on to his leg. "I don't wanna do this maze thing anymore! It's scary!"

"It's alright, Chopper-bro! Me and Brook'll have you outta here in no time!" Franky assured him.

"Wow! You're so cool, Franky!" Chopper cheered, stars in his eyes and earlier fears forgotten.

"And of course we'll need some light to see our way through!" Franky said, flicking on a switch. Two lights came on from his shirt. "_NIPPLE LIGHTS_!" he yelled, striking a pose. The other two cheered at their newfound light and set off once again.

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><p>"Hey, Zoro, are we-"<p>

"Luffy I swear if you ask me if we're there yet _one more time_, I will cut you into mince meat" Zoro threatened.

"...I was going to say "lost", but that works too." Luffy laughed as Zoro groaned in frustration.

"We are not _lost_, we are mildly displaced. And in a maze." Zoro corrected.

"Oh. So we're lost in a maze." Luffy said. Zoro groaned again. "Hey, Zoro. Are we there yet?"

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><p>"I think we alrea-aaah!" Usopp screamed, cutting himself mid-sentence, and hid behind Sanji for yet another creepy decoration. Sanji continued to walk by as though nothing was there. Usopp came out of hiding and laughed nervously.<p>

"That didn't scare me. I wanted to make sure _you_ weren't scared" he said.

"Your shaking knees say otherwise." Sanji pointed out.

"N-n-no way. They're shaking f-from excitement." Usopp said.

"And your teeth are chattering from excitement too?" Sanji asked. He really wanted a cigarette, but you weren't allowed to smoke them in the maze.

"The Great Captain Usopp-sama does not fear some silly corn maze! In fact, when I was six, I once walked through a haunted co-OH GOD SAVE ME SANJI" Usopp yelled, unable to finish his tall tale as one of the actors jumped out from around the corner. Before Sanji could react, Usopp had grabbed his hand and dashed off in another direction, away from the actor and off in some random direction.

"Wait, stop! Usopp!" Sanji yelled, fumbling behind the long nose as he ran full speed away.

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><p>Franky, Brook, and Chopper stopped as a pair of people ran by them.<p>

"Was that Usopp and Sanji?" Franky asked.

"I think it was" Brook replied.

"Well, since they're together, we don't have to look for them." Chopper said "Since, at that speed, we'll never catch them."

"We should just focus on getting out, then" Brook said. The trio continued on their journey out of the maze.

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><p>"I wonder how the boys are doing?" Nami wondered as her and Robin walked through the maze. Nami was creeped out by a few of the decorations, but the actors left them alone after one poor guy had tried to scare her and was introduced to her fist. Even monsters are scared of Nami.<p>

...Don't tell her I said that.

"I hope the maze wasn't too much for them to handle. It could have scared them into shock. Or they could get lost and be stranded here. Or-"

"Robin, that's enough, really." Nami said. Robin just smiled.

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><p>Usopp didn't stop running until he tripped over a prop and fell on his face. And, because he was holding so tight onto Sanji, he dragged Sanji down with him.<p>

"Usopp." Sanji snarled as he and Usopp sat up. "Warn me before you take off like that. You nearly pulled my arm out of its socket." Had he not been stitting on the ground, he would've kicked Usopp over the head. Instead, he kicked his shin.

"Ow, sorry Sanji. I just sort of panicked." Usopp said as Sanji stood up. He held out his hand to help Usopp up as well.

"What did you trip on, anyways?" Sanji asked, looking around for the offending prop. Upon seeing it and, more specifically, it's eight legs, he panicked similarly to how Usopp had done before. That is, he yelped and jumped behind Usopp for cover.

"Sanji, what are you doing?" Sanji just pointed to the prop, which was a very large spider. Usopp just laughed.

"Who's scared now?" he asked. But he stuck his hand out anyway, and Sanji grabbed it. They walked by the spider and continued on their way, hand in hand (because it made them both feel a little better, though they wouldn't admit it).

* * *

><p>"I think we've passed here before. I remember this." Luffy pointed out.<p>

"Everything looks exactly the same and its incredibly dark out. How can you tell anything apart?" Zoro asked.

"I dunno. I just think we've been here before." Luffy said.

"Well you're the one leading, so you don't get to complain" Zoro said.

"What do you mean _I'm_ leading? I've been following _you_!" Luffy yelled.

"No way, _I've_ been following _you_!" Zoro yelled. "Have we been walking in circles?!"

"I _told_ you I've seen this before!" Luffy yelled triumphantly. Zoro just groaned.

"...So are you leading the way, or am I?" Luffy asked.

* * *

><p>The girls had walked in pleasent silence for a minute before they reached a brightly lit area.<p>

"I think we made it to the exit." Nami said.

"Or we could have walked in a giant circle and this could be the entrance." Robin pointed out.

"I'm going with the exit" Nami decided. And she was right, for there was a sign right there that read 'EXIT' in big red letters. And, of course, it was meant to look like it was written in blood. The girls walked out to find that they were the only two there out of their group.

"Now, we wait" Nami said, sitting down at a bench provided for just that reason. Robin sat down next to her and they began their very long wait for the boys.

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><p>Chopper, though he had been scared before, was quite enjoying the maze now. With Franky and Brook there to help him through, all fear was quickly forgotten. Brook was able to tell the others who worked there not to scare them and Franky had a light source, so the maze was easy going. And, in the light, none of the props seemed neary as scary. Plus, Brook kept telling skeleton jokes to go with his costume. So Chopper was having a pretty good day... er, night.<p>

"Left or right or straight?" Brook asked when they reached an intersection.

"We've been here before, I think." said Franky "And we went left then, so lets go straight now." Franky said.

It was a dead end.

"...So then we'll go right" Franky said, staring at the wall.

"Yohohoho, sounds like a plan, Franky-san!" Brook agreed.

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><p>Still hand-in-hand, Sanji and Usopp continued the maze in silence. Whenever they came upon something that scared them, wether it be a jumpscare, a spider, or, for one horrible decoration, <em>both<em>, they just had to remind themselves of the others presence besides them.

"How long do you think we've been in here?" Usopp wondered aloud. Sanji lifted his hand, pulling Usopp's along with it, to check his watch.

"Nearly an hour." He said.

"It doesn't feel like an hour." Usopp said. "Do you think any of the others are out yet?"

"The girls are probably out. Nami-san has always been good at navigation!" Sanji cheered.

"Speaking of the others... Shit! I left Chopper all by himself!" Usopp yelled, begining to panic. "Oh god, what am I gonna do?! do you think I could make it up to him with cotton candy? Nami and Robin are gonna kill me! Tell my family I love them! Goodbye, cruel world, I'm a dead man walking!"

"Usopp. Usopp, calm down. USOPP!" Sanji yelled, snapping Usopp out of his near-panic attack. "When you fled in terror from that one actor, we passed Chopper. He was with Brook and Franky. He's fine."

"...Oh. That's good." Usopp said. "...I knew that. I was just making sure you knew."

"Liar" Sanji said. "Let's get out of here. I seriously need a cigarrette."

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><p>"Zoro, you can't break the walls down. That's against the rules." Luffy said, as Zoro was glaring very menacingly at the dead end they had just walked down.<p>

"I wasn't going to break the walls down... I was going to create an exit." Zoro said.

"That's _also_ against the rules. And if you want to beat Sanji out of the maze, you're gonna have to follow the rules." Zoro looked at him like he'd grown another head. "What?"

"That was actually sort of intelligent" Zoro said. "Are you one of the actors?"

"Hey! I am very intelligent!" Luffy defended.

"Spell intelligent" Zoro said.

"I-N-T-E-L-I-J-A-N-T" Luffy said "Intelligent."

"That's not how you spell inteligent" Zoro said.

"Oh, well-" whatever Luffy was about to say was cut off as one of the actors, dressed as a zombie, jumped out from between them. Instead of being scared, Luffy's eyes lit up like stars.

"WOAH! YOUR COSTUME IS SO COOL!" he yelled. The actor was confused. Zoro was used to this, as this was the fourth time it had happened. "Hey, do you wanna join us? We're trying to find the exit!"

"I, uh-" the actor fumbled for a response.

"Luffy, stop inviting everyone and their grandmother to be your friend. This guy has probably got stuff to do." Zoro said.

"Aw, Zoro, you're no fun." Luffy said. "You sure you don't wanna come with us?"

"I've gotta go, and, uh, scare some people, so, uh, yeah" the zombie said lamely and walked off from the strange duo.

"Bye!" Luffy yelled, waving. "...So where were we going again?" Zoro groaned in frsutration for what felt like the hundredth time that night.

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><p>"It's very convinient that there's a snack stand right next to the exit." Robin said.<p>

"Very. And who would have thought they'd sell hot cocoa?" Nami agreed, sipping her drink. That was when a beam of light shone from the exit.

"I think that's it!" a young-sounding voice yelled.

"Yohohoho, I think you're right, Chopper-san!" another voice yelled.

"We found the exit! SUPER!" yelled a third voice.

"I didn't realize Brook was with them." Nami said.

"And I didn't realize Chopper and Franky were partners. I thought-" Robin started, but was cut off when the trio burst from the maze.

"WE'RE FREE!" Chopper yelled, throwing his hands into the air when they ran out. Brook and Franky cheered.

"Congradulations, you guys are second out of the maze!" Nami yelled. That was when the three noticed the girls.

"Nami! Robin!" Chopper cheered again, running up to the girls.

"Hey Chopper! Hey, where's Usopp? Didn't you go in with him?" Nami asked, slightly concerned.

"Oh, we saw a realy scary actor and got seperated. But the actor turned out to be Brook, so I started walking with him!"

"Is Usopp out there alone?" Nami asked.

"He wouldn't last long out there by himself. He's probably cowering in some corner somewhere." Robin said. Chopper momentarily forgot that he was with Sanji and screamed.

"OH NO! WE HAVE TO HELP HIM! USOPP, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU!" he attempted to charge back into the maze's entrance (the entrance and exit were right near each other) when Franky stopped him.

"Woah there, little bro, calm down." He said. Chopper looked up at him in confusion. "We saw Usopp, remember? He was with Sanji"

"Oh, right!" Chopper said.

"...I forgot to ask about Sanji-kun..." Nami whispered to Robin. She just laughed.

"If you saw Usopp and Sanji, then why aren't you guys with them?" Robin asked.

"They were running to fast for us to catch up." Franky said.

"It was like they had seen a ghost!" Brook added.

"Oh. And nobody saw Luffy and/or Zoro?" Nami asked. The others shook their heads.

"Oh well. Nothing left to do but sit and wait. This place sells really good hot cocoa, by the way. You should try some."

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><p>"Hey, Zoro, are w-" whatever Luffy had been about to say was cut off by a large yawn.<p>

"You falling asleep?" Zoro asked.

"I'm-" another yawn "not tired."

"Sure, Luffy." Zoro said.

"Well, cuz it's October, me and Ace and Sabo watched a scary movie* and didn't sleep well."

"What, was it that scary?" Zoro asked.

"No." Luffy relpied, a little too quickly. He then yawned again. "We just didn't go to sleep till 5."

"So if you aren't tired, how do you explain the yawns?" Zoro asked.

"I'm hungry" Luffy replied.

"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works." Zoro said.

"I'm pretty sure it is. I am very intlelligent, after all." Luffy said. He yawned again.

"You're tired." Zoro said. Luffy denied it again. Zoro shook his head, and walked a bit faster to stand in front of him, then stopped.

"What're you-" he yawned again.

"Hop on my back." Zoro said, kneeling down.

"...Ok!" Luffy said. He climbed on and Zoro stood up. Adjusting his hold on the teen, he started walking again.

"Thank-" he yawned "Thank you, Zoro."

"No problem, captain."

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><p>"Hey, Sanji, is that the exit?" Usopp asked. Sanji looked up, seeing lights.<p>

"Yeah, I think it is." Sanji replied. They began to walk a bit faster, when Luffy and Zoro turned a corner and came up in front of them. Well, it was actually Zoro with Luffy on his back, but whatever.

"Hey, wait a minute...!" Usopp said. "They're in front of us!"

"Oh, no they don't. There is _no way_ I am getting out of a maze after the directionless marimo!" Sanji said, breaking into a run and pulling Usopp along with him.

Luffy looked over his shoulder towards the duo, and upon seeing them, said something in Zoro's ear. He quickly picked up the pace as well. Soon the four (three? Does Luffy count since he's on Zoro's back?) of them were neck-and-neck, and the exit was right in front of them. As a last-resort, Sanji stuck out his foot to try to trip Zoro. It worked, but he brought Sanji and, becasue Sanji was holding on to him, Usopp, down with him. The four of them ended up in a pile, with their top halves sticking out of the exit of the maze.

"Uh... hello guys" Chopper said from the bench, drink up to his mouth as he was about to take a sip when the four tumbled out of the maze.

"WHO WON?!" All four said at the same time. The other five looked at each other.

"I wasn't paying attention..." Chopper confessed.

"Me neither." Nami said.

"I didn't see it" Franky said.

"Neither did I" Brook added. All eyes turned to Robin.

"Luffy is the farthest out of the maze, so technically, Zoro and him do." she said. Everyone looked at Luffy, who had his hand sticking out. "But it doesn't matter either way. You guys walked out of the entrance."

"WHAT?!" All four of them looked up to find they had, in fact, walked out of the entrance.

"You mean..." Usopp started.

"All this time..." Luffy said.

"We were walking..." Sanji said.

"In a giant circle?!" Zoro finished.

"Yes, exactly" Robin agreed. All four boys practically deflated. The other four burst out laughing.

"You guys were stuck in there for an hour and a half, and all you did was walk in one big circle?!" Nami asked. "I mean, I knew Luffy and Zoro were bad at directions, but I thought Usopp and Sanji were better!"

"That's super hilarious!" Franky agreed.

"And the fact they all walked out at the same time really tickles my funny bone!" Brook said. He was really getting the hang of these skeleton puns.

"Are you all ready to go, or would you like to retry the maze?" Robin asked. All four (still) on the ground just groaned.

"Are you guys going to get up, or...?" Nami asked. They began to sort themselves out, Luffy getting off of Zoro and helping him up and Usopp helping Sanji up.

"I think we're ready to get out of here." Usopp said. The other three nodded.

"And besides, after all that, I _really_ need a smoke." Sanji said

"So," Chopper asked "are we coming back next year?"

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><p><strong>*a reference to another one of my stories. It's chapter 3 of my <em>Friends and Family<em> oneshot collection, called _The Horror Movie. _**

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><p><strong>So yeah, this is my "Happy Birthday to Jo" fic. It's also my Halloween fic. And a ZoLu and SanUso fic. Overall, I'm happy with how it turned out.<strong>

**Anywhale, all of this is based off my own experiences with corn mazes. Maybe corn maze you've been to don't sell hot cocoa, but the one I went to did. I didn't get any when I went, though. **

**I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please review and tell me what you thought, cuz I'd love to hear from you!**

**- Lew-chan :D**

**_HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO!_**


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